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my amazing life

I don’t often talk about personal stuff on this blog (it’s CODEgumbo; not LIFEgumbo), but a lot’s happened in the last few weeks, so I thought I’d share a bit.  Besides, I was on a roll for blogging for a bit there, and then suddenly stopped; I figured I should at least attempt to explain what happened Smile.  So let me explain in chronological order (with a few flashbacks) what’s been going on with me lately.

I’m a dad, again….

Evan Stuart Ainsworth was born on June 25, 2013.  It’s been 14 years since I’ve had a baby in the house, so it’s a complete reboot.  I’ve been totally unprepared for the joys and trials of having a baby; I kept thinking it was going to be easy, but I guess I forgot how worn out you feel all the time, and I’m just the dad.  I don’t understand the sheer strength my wife has; the kid eats all the time.  And when he’s not eating, he’s either happy or mad; my nickname for him is the Hulk (“don’t make me angry”).

Before I go too much further with the story of Evan’s arrival, I should pause for a second and say how grateful I am for my two daughters (Isabel, 16, and Grace, 14); their world just got a little weirder, and they’ve stepped in and accepted it reasonably well.  Blended families are tough, and I appreciate them for trying to balance their relationship with me, their stepmother, and their new little brother, as well as building a relationship with their mom (and her new family).

Anyway, while the birth of any kid is big life change, Evan is special.  He was actually supposed to be an induced birth, so we were at the hospital when labor started.  Betsy (my wife) was all hooked up to monitors, and labor was progressing when things went awry; during some of the contractions, Betsy suffered a condition known as a placental abruption, and Evan went into shock in utero.  Within minutes, Betsy underwent an emergency C-section, and Evan was out within 15-30 minutes of the incident.

Betsy and I spent two weeks hanging out at the NICU, waiting on our little boy to get well; it wasn’t comfortable.  Lots of stress, nowhere to really go, and too little time in between feedings for either of us to leave.  Thankfully, Evan’s condition was relatively minor compared to many babies that spend time in the NICU, but it was still scary.  When I say my prayers, I give thanks for the doctors and midwives at the hospital; without them, I don’t think either Betsy or Evan would be home with me today.  After I give thanks, I then turn my thoughts toward the parents and families of children in the NICU.

I say all of this to explain that even while it’s tough coping to a new baby, I just laugh when I hear him cry.  Life is a blessing, even in the everyday struggles.

I survived another trip around the sun

As of July 5, 2013, I am now twice-21.  I’m a little slower, a little grayer, and happier than I’ve ever been.  42 is a lot more awesome than I thought it would be when I was 21.  Besides, kids are supposed to keep you young, and if I keep having them, I should live forever.

I celebrated a second year of marriage

While I don’t share a lot about my personal life on my blog, I REALLY don’t talk a lot about my wife.   As I pointed out above, this is my second marriage; my ex-wife and I separated in November 2009 after 14 years of marriage.  If you go back and search older posts on here, you’ll find a few references to my original marriage scattered about; I try not to dwell on them too much, because I don’t really want to revisit those feelings.  Let me just say that I spent a lot of my adult life trying to be happy and make someone love me, and I was only marginally successful.

After my divorce was final, I dated a few women and thought I would enjoy being single. And then I met Betsy.  My wife is an amazing woman, and I don’t think I tell her that often enough.  She loves me for being me, and its easy to love her.  I’m happy every day; love is easy with the right person.  At times it seems as though I just met her a week ago; at times, it seems as though life began when I met her.  Enough mushy stuff by me; sing along with the Proclaimers.  It’ll make you feel good.

And now back to our show

Hopefully, I’ll get back on track with technical blogging now that I’ve had some time to adjust to all the recent life events.  Thanks for reading.

#SQLSATATL simply rocked…

sqlsatatlSo, last Saturday, I went to the first SQL Saturday in Atlanta that I had absolutely no responsibility on the actual day of the event.  I wasn’t an organizer, I didn’t really even volunteer.  As a chapter leader for AtlantaMDF, I do have to go in and pay the bills later this week, but for the most part, I got to walk around and revel in the day. 

And it was a good day.  The team (led by Geoff Hiten) pulled off another great event; 555 people attended the event, and there were some AWESOME sessions throughout the day.  I was in the 9 am slot, and my session on Biggish Data went well, even if (as usual) I had WAY too many slides.  Speaking of slides, you should be able to download the deck from the SQLSaturday 220 schedule (as well as many other great presentations).  I did have to slip out early since this weekend was my weekend with the kids.  My current youngest (Grace) had to get service hours for beta club, so she got to hang out with me, but I needed to get back home early to hang out with the oldest one.

So what was cool?  What did I learn?

  1. The number one highlight for me was watching Louis Davidson demo Red Gate’s SQL Monitor tool, and he chose one of my custom metrics to use in the show.  I respect Louis a lot, and it made my day.
  2. I learned that I need to cut out about 10 slides out of my presentation.
  3. I had a great conversation with a few people about table partitioning and performance gains; I think there’s enough material for a future session explaining why you will or won’t see performance benefits from partitioning.  Hmmmm….
  4. I had another excellent conversation with Robert Cain regarding the growth of SQLSaturday’s, and bounced around a few ideas about moving to a mid-tier model.  Kind of like what SQLRally was supposed to become, but different. 
  5. I also got to hang out with Andy Leonard.   He and my Grace had a good time discussing movies (Where’s my super suit?).

Mostly, I just got jazzed about being back in the #sqlfamily.  Hopefully, I can build off that momentum, and start blogging again.   Granted, the next few months are going to be personally interesting, but I need to make time to share again.

Couple of upcoming presentations

I know; I suck at blogging.

Anyway, I have a couple of upcoming presentations this month, so I figured I needed to get back and gear and at least post a notice about them.  First, I’ll be presenting at A Bunch of Devs (http://www.meetup.com/A-Bunch-of-Devs/) on the Red Gate development suite of tools.  Funny story; I actually work in that building.  The organizers reached out to Red Gate to see if they had a Friend nearby.  I guess I qualified.

Next, I’ll be back at SQL Saturday Atlanta to present on Biggish Data; this is the first Atlanta SQL Saturday that I actually had almost nothing to do with (as a chapter leader, I helped with some basic decision, but very little).  I’m excited that it’s continuing to thrive.  Says a lot about the infrastructure that PASS puts behind these events; they just need a little help from the local chapters, but they don’t rely on the same person getting burned out year after year.

post #summit12 write-up

Everyone does one, so I figured I should Smile  Unfortunately, I barely recovered from my trip to Seattle, and am now rushing out the door to Dallas for company training, so I’m afraid this will be brief.  I do intend to blog more in the future (promises, promises), but for now, here’s the highlights:

  1. Day 1 Keynote rocked; it looks like SQL Server vNext will be an awesome release for DBA’s.   2008 and 2012 brought a lot of cool things to the table development/BI – wise, but less love for administrators (IMHO).  Hekaton will change that.
  2. I was really burning out on the whole chapter leader/SQL Saturday/community activist thing; three days in Seattle changed that.  We’re now planning Atlanta SQLSaturday 2013  (woo-hoo!!)
  3. The Chapter Leader meeting format was very effective, and a big difference from previous years.
  4. Session planning seemed a little “off” this year; too many people trying to cram into too small a space.  I missed some good sessions because the rooms were too full.
  5. I got bit by the cert bug, and passed exam 70-461 Querying Microsoft SQL Server 2012 on the second try.  I flunked it on Wednesday, got pissed off about it, crammed that night, and passed it on Thursday.  More on that later.

All in all, it was awesome.  I had a great time reconnecting with people, and I’m looking forward to the year to come.  Gotta run;  the Atlanta airport is an hour away.  I have no clue how you road warriors do this….

The 9-month countdown has begun…

image

So, there it is.  Two little lines, and BANG! I’m going to be a dad again.  It’s been 14 years since I’ve last seen a positive pregnancy test, and I’ve got to tell you, the mixture of excitement and downright panic doesn’t really change.  True, I’ve got a lot more experience under my belt, but then again, I’ve got a LOT more experience (I’ll be 42 in July).  Wow.

We heard the heartbeat today, so my wife is officially 7 weeks along, and except for a few close friends and family members, we’ve been trying to stay quiet and think happy thoughts.  We’re finally out of the woods far enough that I’m comfortable telling people.

Comfortable may not be the right word; I’m still slightly in shock, but I’m significantly more optimistic about the outcomes.  I’m going to be a dad, again.  It’s an amazing feeling.

My head is still swimming with the news, but I hope this explains why I haven’t blogged much over the last year, and why I probably will be sporadic for the next few years Smile.  IVF is a time-consuming process, but as I recall (sheesh, I sound like a geezer already), so is raising a baby.  At least this time around I’ll have a couple of high-school students to help out.  My two daughters are thrilled about the possibility of a little sibling; both are hoping for a brother, but as my mom put it, my “track record’s not so great in that area”.

Other words of wisdom from my mom: “you better get your ass to a gym.”  I’ve got less than 9 months to get into the best shape of my life; I’ll have a rugrat to wrestle.  Life is good, and I need to be around for a long time to enjoy it.

A day with Andy (and Matt..) #SQLSAT111 #SQLPASS

I first met Andy Leonard at my first PASS Summit (2008); he was sitting at the back of the room in the Chapter Leaders meeting.  At the time, there was this newfangled social technology called Twitter (perhaps you’ve heard of it), and everybody was live tweeting during the meeting (shades of things to come).  I had been following his twitter stream for some time, and I saw a tweet of his go by.  I responded with something clever like “I’m watching you tweet @AndyLeonard”.  Immediately his head popped up, and looked around the room.  After the meeting, I walked over and introduced myself. 

Talking to Andy is probably one of the easiest things to do in the world; there have been time throughout my association with the SQL community where I’ve bumped into him at some event or another, and he always seems to remember who I am, and what’s going on with me.  I’m nowhere near the prolific writer that he is, and neither am I as plugged in to what’s going on, but yet he always seems to slide into a conversation with me like an old friend.  Andy is just a good guy to know, and I’m glad he’s a friend of mine.

Now, we haven’t always agreed on things; during the PASS elections of 2010, Andy and I looked at the process from two very different perspectives.  Some of our discussions got heated online, and going back and reading those posts today makes me a little sad.  But then I have to pause and think about the face-to-face conversations Andy and I had regarding the same subject, and it’s clear that he really does have a heart for the SQL community; even though I don’t always agree with him, I know that he’s trying to encourage people to do the right thing.  Again, he’s a good guy.

Why do I bring this up? Well, it’s because I’m on the team to bring SQL Saturday 111 to Atlanta on April 14.  We’ve invited Andy Leonard to do a precon for us on April 13; $100 to spend a day with Andy (and Matt Masson).  I know that Andy brings that same outlook to his teaching that he does to his community activities; with a certain amount of encouragement, people can do better.  If you’re not already registered for his class, you should.  You’ll learn something about SSIS, and maybe a little bit about friendship.

#TSQL2sDay T-SQL Tuesday 23–Early edition

T-SQL Tuesday Logo

 

Time once again for another edition of T-SQL Tuesday!  What’s that, you say?  Early?  Why yes, indeed.  Due to the potential schedule of conflict of PASS’s Summit 2011 occurring on the second Tuesday of October (the normal date for T-SQL Tuesday), I’ve gotten special permission to bump it up a week. 

To participate in this month’s T-SQL Tuesday, your post must go live between midnight UTC on Tuesday, October 4, 2011 and midnight UTC on Wednesday, October 5.

 

Your post needs to link back to this blog, and if you use the image, anchor it to this post.  Make sure you leave a comment or a trackback to this post (so I can find it later, when I write up the summary).

Topic d’jour?  JOINS (I’m in a fundamentals mood lately).  Note that I also like creative and esoteric posts, so if you can find a way to apply SQL as a metaphorical language for community activity, I’ll read it and enjoy it.  If you just want to tell me in a simple fashion the difference between a HASH and MERGE join, I’m cool with that, too.

Do me a favor, though, and please spread the word about the early date.  Looking forward to reading your submissions.

Resolution checkup

As February draws to a close, I thought I’d do a quick check-up to see how well I was keeping up with my New Year’s resolution list.  In sum: not great, but not too bad, either.  I need to make some adjustments, but I think I can pull it back in.

Here’s the rundown (copied and pasted from the original, with some notes below):

Professional

Technical Skills

  • I want to learn something new every month.  My goal is to tackle something challenging, and be able to understand the ins and outs of it within 30 days.  For example, I want to finish tackling XML (including XSD’s) in SQL Server. 

I think I’m doing OK on this one; I haven’t really done great this month, but I have spent a little time each month working on something new.

  • I want to upgrade my certifications by the end of the year; I’ve been dancing around the MCITP exams for a while, and I need to finish them.

Spent a little time studying, but I need to get on this.

Presentation

  • I want to make at least 6 technical presentations by the end of the year; last year, I managed to eke out 8, but given some of the recent changes in my personal life (see below), I think 6 is reasonable.

I have two presentations scheduled for SQL Saturday 70 next month.

  • I will blog at least once a month about some technical topic (see the first bullet point under technical skills).

See the above point; as I learn, I blog.  I did miss the T-SQL Tuesday blog for Feb (which makes me sad).

Management

  • I will understand the SCRUM methodology, and learn how to implement it with my team at work.  Although I’m not a team leader, I AM the Senior Database Architect, and I need to code less, and teach more.  This is my year to do so.

I’ve done this; I’m moving on to something larger. 

Personal

Health

  • I’m getting married again this year, and I want to look good for my new wife.  I also want to avoid long-term health issues.  I was losing weight last year (until I started dating), and I want to get back on track.  I’d like to lose 50 lbs by October.

Started Weight Watchers and have lost about 10 pounds so far.  Have tapered off a bit, and I need to get back on this bandwagon.

  • I have apnea, and I’ve been horrible about using my CPAP on a regular basis.  I will use it regularly.

How about irregularly?

  • I need to exercise more, so I will find 20 minutes a day to do SOMETHING, even if it’s just walking around the office for 20 minutes.

Blech.  I did OK for about two days.

  • I will drink at least 8 glasses of water per day.

Does Diet Coke count as water?  Sigh; it looks like I’m not doing so hot in the Health area.

Spiritual

  • I’ve slacked off in my religious activities; my faith was nourished by church attendance during my divorce, and I need to start growing again.  I will find a new church in the next two months (my old church is too far to drive on a regular basis), and become a regular attendee.

Checked out a church; didn’t like it.

  • I choose to absorb the goodness from people who love me, and I will reject the poison from those who do not.  I will focus on the important things in life (like my kids, and my future bride), and worry less about the unimportant things (like who’s mowing the grass).

Mixed results on this; while I think I do a great job at spending time with my kids and my future bride, I’m still struggling with ways to handle conflict in a positive fashion.  My strategy now is direct confrontation, rather than continuing to tap-dance around issues.

Social

  • I will listen more to my children, my family, and my friends.  I will find ways to let them know I love them.

See above.

  • I will nurture my own friendships; while I love my fiance’s friends and family, I want to bring more to the table than just me.

Need to do better about this.

Financial

  • My divorce pulled me way off course.  While I’m a long way from being out of debt, I will continue to make strides in that area.  I will pay off at least one credit card ahead of schedule.

Not really making a lot of headway here;  this one may have to wait until my fiancee and I combine households (thus saving on rent payments).

  • I will save more; I plan to find ways to cut costs (like taking advantage of coupons, and eating out less).

Ditto.

There you have it; a mixed bag.  I think I’m making some positive steps in the right direction, but I’ve still got a long way to go.

What Should PASS be? #sqlpass

Andy Warren recently threw out a challenge for bloggers to “fix” things with the Professional Association for SQL Server in 3 years.   There have been some great responses so far (and I’m sorry if I’ve missed yours):

All of these posts have great ideas, and have influenced my thinking on my subject; I’ve had conversations with most of these authors about some of the finer points of the direction that PASS should take over the last year at Summit, SQL Saturdays, email, etc; the ideas that I’m going to post below are probably not too dissimilar than their thoughts (although we probably differ on some on the implementations of those ideas).

Heading off in a general direction…

Although Andy W. specifically asked for a 3-year plan, I think part of the problem with PASS is that the long-term vision is unclear.  There’s a big debate about whether or not PASS is a community organization, a business serving that community, or something else that’s not been well-defined.  Additionally, PASS struggles with its domain of influence; the organization is viewed as being U.S.-centric by most members outside of the states, and inside the states, the continued reliance on Microsoft’s presence in Seattle makes the organization seem distant to local users.  What should PASS be?

In a conversation with Andy W. a few months ago, I proposed that PASS should borrow from some of the great evangelistic traditions of Western civilization (I was originally thinking of a non-religious version of the five fold ministry of the early Christian church: apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers), and Andy threw out the word “guild”.  I like that concept; PASS should be a guild, providing training both in terms of learning about the tools (SQL Server and associated products) and growth in the guild (moving from a student to a master).  Guilds are both a community of learners, and a powerful force of influence; where the Summit goes, Microsoft should follow (instead of the other way around).  I think this thought echoes Grant’s call:

Get the word out that if you want training this is the place to be. If you want to be a trainer, this is the place to start, if you are a trainer, this is where you grow you brand.

Of course, that’s a long-term definitional goal ; in the short term, I see three areas for improvement.

Things to do in the next three years…

1. Have an election process that’s deemed fair and reliable by the majority of the membership. 

I applaud PASS for taking steps in this regard.  I obviously spent a great deal of time discussing this over the last 10 months, and I’ve arrived at a very different place than either Andy Leonard or Mike Walsh (I believe in a strong Nominating Committee with an opaque application process; Andy has called to abandon it altogether, and Mike believes in a simple pass-or-fail review of credentials).  While our viewpoints on the actual implementation may differ, I think we can all agree that PASS will continue to lack credibility if the method by which organizational power is attained is not supported by the constituency.    PASS needs to get the election process stabilized and supported before the next election.

2. Adopt the User Groups as an extension of the organization, rather than just partners in community.

The PASS Chapter model is essentially a good one; there is no better way (in my opinion) to reach SQL Server professionals interested in building their careers than through the User Groups.  Unfortunately, as Mike (and others) have pointed out, the loose affiliation between PASS and the chapters have left many chapter leaders questioning what does PASS really do for the chapters?  That needs to change.

Chapters should be the local arms of PASS; attendees to a chapter meeting should leave every meeting thinking that they are getting a monthly shot (albeit a smaller dosage) of the same knowledge that they get from a PASS SQLSaturday, a PASS SQLRally, and a PASS Summit.  Chapters should feel interconnected; as a chapter leader in Atlanta, I should know what topic TJay Belt is discussing in Utah, or what Roy Ernest is covering in Curaco.   I should feel confident (as should they) that I have access to the same resources for educating my members (including trained, professional speakers as well as online materials) as any other chapter.

Chapters should also be given the tools necessary to recruit new members to the guild, both those members of the community with lots of experience with SQL Server (and little-to-none with PASS) as well as those members of the community who are still figuring out what a clustered index is.  I realize that this is a huge task to take on in 3 years, but the initial groundwork must be laid; chapters need to feel that they are part of a larger organization, and they should be embraced as siblings (not distant cousins).

As a sidebar, I should note that while PASS chapters should not replace the online initiatives that PASS has recently invested in (the blogosphere and social networks), they should be the primary focus.   From my own personal perspective, I’ve recently discovered that as I’ve become less “plugged in” (changes in my personal life as well as new corporate firewall policies have prevented my social networking),  it’s been harder to stay invested in PASS and the SQL community.  For example, I missed the recent call for volunteers for Program Committee members; I’ve also missed quite a few calls for bloggers (like T-SQL Tuesday).  There needs to be better connectedness between “meatspace” (a term I borrowed from Brent Ozar) and the online community.

3.  Invest in the IT structure at HQ.

We’re an organization of information technology professionals, and as far as I know, we have a staff of 2 IT guys (a developer and an admin).  If PASS is going to be the essential tool for the SQL Server Professional, then the organization needs to build an IT infrastructure that can support community connectedness, the sharing of essential information, networking between members, and training resources to move passive members to active masters of their craft.  I am not sure what that would take, but I think the speaker bureau (as well as a speaker training program) is a good start.  PASS doesn’t need to be a SQLServerpedia or a SQL Server Central, but it does need to provide its membership with an awareness of what good SQL Server resources are, and how they should be used in the educational path of the member.

Summing Up…

As I said before, I’m envisioning PASS as a guild for SQL Server professionals; guilds have members with varying skill levels (from apprentice to master craftsman), and the goal of the guild is to train its members not only in the tools they use, but also in the ways of the guild.  We’ve got a long way to go, but I think we have some basic steps we need to master, and soon.