Spoke to a good friend today; a guy I haven’t seen in several years, but we exchange emails pretty regularly. He’s been having a rough time this year: he lost his job earlier this year, and has been trying to find work to keep him afloat while he revamps his career. He mentioned to me today that he was moving back to our hometown so that his kids would be near family while he gets thing sorted out.
Home is a comfort zone, and it’s the place to go when things are bad; while I support my friend, I did give him one piece of advice: don’t settle there. It’s not a bad place to live, and I have lots of friends who are very happy to live there, but there’s a difference between making the decision to live someplace because you like the benefits (home, a small town life) and settling for a life because you’ve run into a wall elsewhere. This guy and I always had the dream of leaving town; granted, we both thought life was going to be different than it turned out, but at least we both managed to get that part right. We moved out, onward, and upward. It’s OK to go back to visit, but don’t stay unless you’re sure you know why you’ve decided to stay.
As I was thinking about this, I realized how much I have settled in my own career. I like my current job (lots of benefits), but I’ve gotten bored with the grind lately. I’ve stopped challenging myself to learn something new, and have settled into the “same old, same old” because it’s easier that way. While I continue to be productive, I haven’t grown professionally as a developer, and that’s not a good place to stay. It’s OK to visit, but not OK to settle.
So today, I seize the day. I go back to the lists of things to do, and I start ripping through them and challenge myself to learn something new.
I hear you Biff, but I guess I have a different perspective. Since in our job we are kind of a modern gypsy family my “home” is wherever my husband and kids are whether we have a little money or alot. In the almost 11 years we have been married we have lived in 10 houses in 3 states and honestly I kind of love the variety. I love going home and actually running into people I know at the grocery store, and I love exploring a new unknown place and learning what it has to offer as well. Variety is the spice of life, but the deeper your roots the stronger your tree. It all works together. I say just enjoy the ride.
But that’s kind of my point; you’ve chosen your gypsy lifestyle, and are taking your comfort zone with you. I’m not saying that everyone who chooses to stay put is making a bad decision; I’m saying “make a choice, and be proud of that choice.” Neither am I criticizing those who retreat to the comfort of home when life is getting rough; I am saying “don’t stay there.” I used to think “play the hand you’re dealt”, but now I think there’s times to realize the hand may be rotten, but there’s always time for one more game 🙂