I don’t often write posts of a highly personal nature on this blog because I feel like there’s a certain sense of privacy I need to maintain, but as the end of the year draws nigh, I’m feeling a bit reflective. It’s been a good year; it began a little rocky as I was wrapping up a divorce, but it’s ended on a high note: shortly after my divorce was final, I met an amazing woman. After 9 months of dating, I asked her to marry me.
It’s been wonderful being in a healthy relationship with someone after having lived through a unhealthy one; my fiancée’ actually LIKES me, and that’s made all the difference. When I’m with her, I feel good about myself, and when I’m away, I can’t wait to spend time with her (hopefully, that explains my absence from blogging a bit).
However, I have kids with my ex, which means that I can’t completely break away from my past; I love my children, and in order to do what’s best for them, I’ve had to continue holding my tongue and restraining my anger when their mom and I disagree. I would have thought that I would be a master of that by now, but it continues to be a struggle for me. Anger is a seductive emotion, in some ways more so than love. It’s far too easy to dwell on the hurts and pains caused by the other person, and to either lash out in revenge or obsess about the misdeeds of the other. While both of those reactions are normal, neither of them will feed the spirit for any length of time. So, I’m writing this post to draw a line in the sand; I refuse to live in the shadow of anger any longer. I will not dwell on the perceived injustices caused by others, but will instead find ways to enjoy life.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m sure that I will continue to encounter situations where anger is justified (and I plan on getting angry when those times arise). However, I refuse to continue looking for those things that offend me; I choose to live my life filled with love and laughter. Life is too short to waste dwelling in darkness.
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year; may your lives be blessed with peace, prosperity, and challenges to grow.
My Friend,
Anger is never a solution I agree with you. I have managed mostly much better without it.
Good luck and merry Christmas.