Oh, The Places You’ll Go! – #SQLSeuss #SQLPASS

Last week, I had the privilege to speak at the annual PASS Summit; I got to present two different sessions, but the one I’m the most proud of was my Lightning Talk: Oh, the Places You’ll Go! A Seussian Guide to the Data Platform. I bungled the presentation a bit (sorry for those of you who want to listen to it), but I feel pretty good about the content. I’ve presented it below, with the slides that I used for the talk.

The goal of this presentation was to explore the Microsoft Data Platform from the perspective of a SQL Server professional; I found this great conceptual diagram of the platform from this website a while back, and wanted to use it as a framework. I figured the best way to teach a subject was the same way I teach my 3-year-old: a little bit of whimsy.


You have brains in your head

And SQL Skills to boot

You’ll soar to great heights

On the Data Platform too

You’re on your own, and you know what you know,

And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go.

You’ve mastered tables, columns and rows, OHHHHH MYYYY

You may even have dabbled in a little B.I.

You’re a data professional, full of zest,

But now you’re wondering “What comes next?”

Data! It’s more than just SQL,

And there’s a slew of it coming, measured without equal.

Zettabytes, YotaBytes, XenoBytes and more

All coming our way, faster than ever before.

So what should we do? How should we act?

Should we rest on our laurels? Should we lie on our backs?

Do we sit idly by, while the going gets tough?

No… no, we step up our game and start learning new stuff!


Oh, the places you’ll go!


Let’s start with the Theories,

The things you should know

Designing systems as services,

Are the route you might go.

Distributed, scalable

Compute on Demand

The Internet of Things

And all that it commands.

Infrastructure is base,

Platform is in line

Software and data

Rest on top of design

Once you’ve grasped this

Once you’ve settled in

You’ve embraced cloud thinking

Even while staying on-prem.

But beyond the cloud, there’s data itself.

Structured, polyschematic, binary, and log

Centralized or on the edge,

Some might say “in the fog”

Big Data, Fast Data, Dark, New and Lost

All of it needs management, all at some cost

There’s opportunity there to discover something new

But it will take somebody, somebody with skills like you.

Beyond relational, moving deep into insight

We must embrace new directions, and bring data to life

And there’s so many directions to go!


For those of you who prefer administration

System engineering and server calibration

You need to acknowledge, and you probably do

You’ll manage more systems, with resources few.

Automation and scripting are the tools of the trade

Learn powershell to step up your game.

Take what you know about managing SQL

And apply it to more tech; you’ll be without equal

Besides the familiar, disk memory CPU

There’s virtualization and networking too

In the future you might even manage a zoo,

Clustering elephants, and a penguin or two.


But it all hinges on answering things

Making servers reliable and performance tuning,

Monitoring, maintenance, backup strategies

All of these things you do with some ease.

And it doesn’t matter if the data is relational

Your strategies and skills will make you sensational

All it takes is some get up, and little bit of go

And you’re on your way, ready to know.

So start building a server, and try something new

SQL Server is free, Hadoop is too.

Tinker and learn in your spare time

Let your passions drive you and you’ll be just fine


But maybe you’re a T-SQL kind of geek,

And it’s the languages of data that you want to speak

There’s lots of different directions for you

Too many to cover, but I’ll try a few

You could talk like a pirate

And learn to speak R

Statistics, and Science!

I’m sure you’ll go far

Additional queries for XML and JSON

Built in SQL Server, the latest edition.

You can learn HiveQL, if Big Data’s your thing

And interface with Tez, Spark, or just MapReducing

U_SQL is the language of the Azure Data Lake

A full-functioned dialect; what progress you could make!

There’s LINQ and C-Sharp, and so many more

Ways to write your code against the datastores

You could write streaming queries against Streaminsight

And answer questions against data in flight.

And lest I overlook, or lest I forget,

There’s products and processes still to mention yet.

SSIS, SSAS, In-memory design

SSRS, DataZen, and Power BI

All of these things, all of these tools

Are waiting to be used, are waiting for you.

You just start down the path, a direction you know

And soon you’ll be learning, your brain all aglow

And, oh, the places you’ll go.

And once you get there, wherever you go.

Don’t forget to write, and let somebody know.

Blog, tweet, present what you’ve mastered

And help someone else get there a little faster.

Feel free to leave a comment if you like, or follow me on Twitter: @codegumbo

November 3, 2016 · stuart · No Comments
Tags: , , ,  · Posted in: Blogging is FUN!, Conferences, Professional Development, SQL, SQLServerPedia Syndication

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