my amazing life

I don’t often talk about personal stuff on this blog (it’s CODEgumbo; not LIFEgumbo), but a lot’s happened in the last few weeks, so I thought I’d share a bit.  Besides, I was on a roll for blogging for a bit there, and then suddenly stopped; I figured I should at least attempt to explain what happened Smile.  So let me explain in chronological order (with a few flashbacks) what’s been going on with me lately.

I’m a dad, again….

Evan Stuart Ainsworth was born on June 25, 2013.  It’s been 14 years since I’ve had a baby in the house, so it’s a complete reboot.  I’ve been totally unprepared for the joys and trials of having a baby; I kept thinking it was going to be easy, but I guess I forgot how worn out you feel all the time, and I’m just the dad.  I don’t understand the sheer strength my wife has; the kid eats all the time.  And when he’s not eating, he’s either happy or mad; my nickname for him is the Hulk (“don’t make me angry”).

Before I go too much further with the story of Evan’s arrival, I should pause for a second and say how grateful I am for my two daughters (Isabel, 16, and Grace, 14); their world just got a little weirder, and they’ve stepped in and accepted it reasonably well.  Blended families are tough, and I appreciate them for trying to balance their relationship with me, their stepmother, and their new little brother, as well as building a relationship with their mom (and her new family).

Anyway, while the birth of any kid is big life change, Evan is special.  He was actually supposed to be an induced birth, so we were at the hospital when labor started.  Betsy (my wife) was all hooked up to monitors, and labor was progressing when things went awry; during some of the contractions, Betsy suffered a condition known as a placental abruption, and Evan went into shock in utero.  Within minutes, Betsy underwent an emergency C-section, and Evan was out within 15-30 minutes of the incident.

Betsy and I spent two weeks hanging out at the NICU, waiting on our little boy to get well; it wasn’t comfortable.  Lots of stress, nowhere to really go, and too little time in between feedings for either of us to leave.  Thankfully, Evan’s condition was relatively minor compared to many babies that spend time in the NICU, but it was still scary.  When I say my prayers, I give thanks for the doctors and midwives at the hospital; without them, I don’t think either Betsy or Evan would be home with me today.  After I give thanks, I then turn my thoughts toward the parents and families of children in the NICU.

I say all of this to explain that even while it’s tough coping to a new baby, I just laugh when I hear him cry.  Life is a blessing, even in the everyday struggles.

I survived another trip around the sun

As of July 5, 2013, I am now twice-21.  I’m a little slower, a little grayer, and happier than I’ve ever been.  42 is a lot more awesome than I thought it would be when I was 21.  Besides, kids are supposed to keep you young, and if I keep having them, I should live forever.

I celebrated a second year of marriage

While I don’t share a lot about my personal life on my blog, I REALLY don’t talk a lot about my wife.   As I pointed out above, this is my second marriage; my ex-wife and I separated in November 2009 after 14 years of marriage.  If you go back and search older posts on here, you’ll find a few references to my original marriage scattered about; I try not to dwell on them too much, because I don’t really want to revisit those feelings.  Let me just say that I spent a lot of my adult life trying to be happy and make someone love me, and I was only marginally successful.

After my divorce was final, I dated a few women and thought I would enjoy being single. And then I met Betsy.  My wife is an amazing woman, and I don’t think I tell her that often enough.  She loves me for being me, and its easy to love her.  I’m happy every day; love is easy with the right person.  At times it seems as though I just met her a week ago; at times, it seems as though life began when I met her.  Enough mushy stuff by me; sing along with the Proclaimers.  It’ll make you feel good.

And now back to our show

Hopefully, I’ll get back on track with technical blogging now that I’ve had some time to adjust to all the recent life events.  Thanks for reading.

July 15, 2013 · stuart · 2 Comments
Tags: , ,  · Posted in: Blogging is FUN!, The Social Web

2 Responses

  1. Glenn Pacifico - July 15, 2013

    Stu, good story!!!

  2. Richard Lee - July 17, 2013

    Many congratulations. I’m about to become a dad for the first time, reading about other peoples experiences in code and in life is always helpful.

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